Godzilla Came in a Dream to Beat My Anger

Photo by Samuel Scrimshaw on Unsplash

It could pass like another crazy dream. After all, who hasn’t had a dream where Godzilla chases you and you run between the streets of a big city?

In those days I was going to therapy. Well, to psychoanalysis. You know, the talk therapy invented by Freud where you end on a divan and tell your dreams to the psychoanalyst. And like in a Woody Allen’s movie, there I was, telling my recent monster’s nightmare to my therapist.

In this dream, I was walking on the street when Godzilla showed up. I was afraid, of course. I ran. But Godzilla didn’t stop chasing me. Like in the movies and cartoons, it didn’t say a word, it was mute. My fear increased and desperation came in. I don’t know how but I ended up running on the city buildings' rooftops.

A lot of things had been happening in my life. I got married to my first wife, I had a new job and a new position in a very big company, and I was having a hard time dealing with leaving my love for philosophy, fine arts and writing, in exchange for a successful life as an executive.

Running away from Godzilla, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, I saw a group of little children on the corner of a building’s top not far from me. They were not running. In fact, to my surprise, they were trying to get Godzilla's attention. They had a blackboard and were showing a message to the monster.

Photo by Nikhita S on Unsplash

I was in therapy for what you can call anger management. I used to be very angry a couple of days of the week. Any other day I was furious. The rest of the time I was just plain angry. I started going to psychoanalysis because it was the only kind of treatment I knew. Well, psychoanalysis and psychiatry, but I didn’t want to take meds. Besides, I had studied Philosophy and had read Freud, so it was the obvious choice back then.

The dream finished there. With the kids trying to show a message to Godzilla written on a blackboard. I never knew what was written on it. But it didn’t matter because what the dream revealed was more important than words. I just had to connect the dots.

It was some sessions after I told my dream to the psychoanalyst when I had the answer. I was talking about the time I taught a couple of writing classes to elementary students when I was just finishing high school. I was young and it was difficult because I didn’t have any training or experience teaching kids of that age. My youngest brother—I told my therapist—was in the same elementary school, but in a different grade. As soon as my students discovered that I had a brother and who he was, they began calling him Godzooky…

And then, in a flash, I remembered. They called my youngest brother Godzooky because he was the younger version of Godzilla! And I was Godzilla!

Godzilla and Godzooky

Back then, there was this Hanna-Barbera TV cartoon with Godzilla in it, and it had a little nephew called Godzooky.

Why did they call me Godzilla? Because in my desperation to teach writing classes to little children I got angry several times. When they saw my anger they said I was like Godzilla.

I didn’t remember this when I had the dream I told my psychoanalyst.

When you have an insight, a lot of data gets connected, patterns emerge and information flows. Knowledge and wisdom come immediately after.

I was Godzilla, therefore, I was running away from myself, and I was chasing myself.

Beyond the anger I was showing to the city, there were these little children without fear to me, trying to get my attention to a message on a blackboard.

And the most important of all things, I realized that my anger wasn’t a product of the life I was living then but a part of me since I was very young.

The children of the dream knew that behind that monster was someone able to read the written words. In a way, the words could save me from being a monster.

Or the children were teaching me how to listen and talk to a monster. To my monster.

When you have an insight, a lot of data gets connected, patterns emerge and information flows. Knowledge and wisdom come immediately after.

But better than that, I discovered, not just that I was the man running from the monster and the monster itself, but I was also the children, the city, the buildings, the blackboard…

My brain creates my dreams. All the characters, objects or scenes in a dream come from the same place: my mind. I don’t dream of my mom or an old friend, or my old neighborhood or an old toy. Everyone and everything in a dream are a version of myself.

I was the children trying to help me from the monster I was becoming. I was telling myself about leaving my fears, break my mutism, stop anger, and start using words…

I was the monster’s call and I was its answer.

--

--

--

Author, psychotherapist, coach—Human behavior, UX, media & audiences—Father, husband, meditator—Courses & coaching: antifragilewriting.com—More adolforismos.com

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Pick a word, and stick with it!

a newly formed adult

Mha Puja: Beautiful Reminder To Celebrate Oneself

Learning To Love The Unknown Future

Why You Do What You Do

Top 3 Tips on How Not To Be a Jerk

Get Your Confidence & Happiness Back

Clarification on Channeling

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Adolfo Ramírez Corona

Adolfo Ramírez Corona

Author, psychotherapist, coach—Human behavior, UX, media & audiences—Father, husband, meditator—Courses & coaching: antifragilewriting.com—More adolforismos.com

More from Medium

What Do You Really Want From Life? How to Find Out

Whatever Works — Works

Don’t Leave Your Personal Problems At Home

Listening Is Better Than Reading